LD: It really does just begin as simply as paying attention and prioritizing. I try regularly to plan to get together with my close friends and the people I care about seeing a lot. We all have relatively busy lives, but I, first of all, make an effort to make the plan, and then I make an effort to get there—to show up. I think showing up is a really critical piece of friendship, in every sense of the phrase.
Am I contributing to that? Have I been helpful lately? When was the last time I said something nice or told somebody why I appreciated them or did something nice for someone? You can think about the way you interact with your friends as needing to fall into those buckets, at a minimum. People have been stressed and anxious lately, so we need to be there and provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, even virtually.
That said, people are reporting a lot of positive experiences, even remotely. Limited though it is, technology has been a lifesaver in this moment. LD: That they will make friendship a priority, that they will call a friend and work harder on thinking about the importance of being a good friend, that parents will think about talking to kids about the importance of friendship and modeling being a good friend and prioritizing it. Through all our lives, the importance of friendship has been hiding in plain sight.
Kira M. Newman is the managing editor of Greater Good. Follow her on Twitter! Become a subscribing member today. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile.
Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Friendships can enrich your life in many ways. Good friends teach you about yourself and challenge you to be better.
They encourage you to keep going when times get tough and celebrate your successes with you. But friends do a lot more than give you a shoulder to cry on; they also have a positive impact on your health.
Some research even says friendships are just as important to your well-being as eating right and exercising.
So how do friendships contribute to your well-being? It turns out that healthy relationships actually contribute to good physical health. Having a close circle of friends can decrease your risk of health problems like diabetes, heart attack, and stroke. Having strong social ties can also decrease feelings of loneliness, which evidence shows can take a toll on your longevity.
According to a review, people with strong relationships have half the risk of premature death from all causes. Social isolation and loneliness are linked to a variety of health issues such as high blood pressure, substance abuse , heart disease, and even cancer.
One possible explanation for those health benefits is that friendships can help you make lifestyle changes that can have a direct impact on your well-being. For example, your friends can help you set and maintain goals to eat better and exercise more. Additionally, people are more motivated and likely to stick to a weight loss or exercise program when they do it with a buddy.
It's much easier to get out and stay active when you have a friend by your side. That friend may also suggest activities that you would not have considered on your own—thus, pushing you outside your comfort zone to challenge your anxiety.
If you find yourself going through a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the transition easier.
Research also shows that happiness is contagious among friends. One study of high school students found that those who were depressed were twice as likely to recover if they had happy friends. Likewise, kids were half as likely to develop depression if their friends had a "healthy mood.
Everyone has self-doubts and insecurities every now and then. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also:. Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index BMI.
Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections. Many adults find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships.
Friendships may take a back seat to other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends may have grown apart due to changes in your lives or interests. Or maybe you've moved to a new community and haven't yet found a way to meet people.
Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile.
Quality counts more than quantity. While it's good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends who will be there for you through thick and thin. It's possible that you've overlooked potential friends who are already in your social network. Think through people you've interacted with — even very casually — who made a positive impression. If anyone stands out in your memory as someone you'd like to know better, reach out.
Ask mutual friends or acquaintances to share the person's contact information, or — even better — to reintroduce the two of you with a text, email or in-person visit. Extend an invitation to coffee or lunch. To meet new people who might become your friends, you have to go to places where others are gathered.
Don't limit yourself to one strategy for meeting people. The broader your efforts, the greater your likelihood of success. Persistence also matters. Take the initiative rather than waiting for invitations to come your way, and keep trying.
You may need to suggest plans a few times before you can tell if your interest in a new friend is mutual. Above all, stay positive. You may not become friends with everyone you meet, but maintaining a friendly attitude and demeanor can help you improve the relationships in your life and sow the seeds of friendship with new acquaintances.
Joining a chat group or online community might help you make or maintain connections and relieve loneliness. However, research suggests that use of social networking sites doesn't necessarily translate to a larger offline network or closer offline relationships with network members. In addition, remember to exercise caution when sharing personal information or arranging an activity with someone you've only met online.
Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you're the one giving support, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends. Manage your nerves with mindfulness.
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